iloveyou
by kittyinthetardis
Summary: The Supernatural books by Carver Edlund aren't exactly Game of Thrones. No one's talking about them at school or around the water cooler at work, so Dean and Castiel had to go online to find their fandom...and each other. Neither were expecting to find a soulmate.


**Hey, guys. R2MeToo here for Kitty. I'm uploading this fic for her, and it's really fantastic. I hope you guys like it as much as I did. **

**Just a note about the Supernatural universe in this particular story: it's genderbent, so Dean's character is a girl called Deanna. Dean and Castiel as we know them in canon are fans of the stories and this is how they met, and fell in love, and...well, let's start at the beginning, using Kitty's words.**

* * *

It began innocently enough, as these things often do. They met in a forum, both arguing passionately about the merits of Carver Edlund's _Supernatural_ series vs Jim Butcher's _Dresden Files. _They bonded swiftly, a friendship based solely on this shared interest, trading info and finding each other on their many social media sites.

As the months passed hardly a day went by without some form of contact: a shared picture, a comment here or there, an email. It was 21st Century friendship at its finest, a profound bond cemented before they ever saw the other's face.

**6 months later**

Dean woke, the early morning light creeping across the bed, turning the room a soft gold. He rolled to his side, waking Lisa with soft kisses along her neck, his deft fingers bringing sleepy moans from her as he woke her arousal. She turned to him, half asleep still, reaching for him blindly and guiding him inside her. Slowly, lazily, they moved together, kisses sloppy, hands wandering across the familiar planes of their bodies. They found their release within moments of each other, exchanging another soft kiss before breaking apart, sprawling across the bed in the bright morning light.

"What brought that on?" Lisa murmured, snuggling close to his side.

"Just missed you." Dean replied, running a hand through her hair.

She turned into his touch, smiling. "I missed you too. I'll be off night shift soon, promise."

"Good," Dean said, pulling himself from bed reluctantly. "I'll make breakfast, I'm not due at the shop til noon." He slipped his sweats on, dropping his phone in his pocket before heading to the kitchen.

He'd barely begun cooking when his phone dinged. He flipped the bacon, distracted now, phone in hand.

**New message from **_**fallenangel! **_

He grinned happily, unlocking his phone and typing out a response.

**Ding! **

He was typing away, bacon slowly blackening, when Lisa walked in. She cocked her head and smiled. "What's got you so happy this early?"

Dean slid his phone back in his pocket. "I can't just be having a good morning with my beautiful girlfriend?" **Ding!**

Lisa frowned. "Hmm. I might believe that if your phone wasn't blowing up. Is that Sam?"

**Ding**. Dean grinned sheepishly. "No. It's just an, er, Internet friend."

Lisa shook her head. "That, um what was his name...? Fallenangel?"

Dean nodded, turning away to rescue the bacon. "His brother is trying to set him up with a chick from work. He's freaking out a bit. Apparently she's a real demon."

Lisa chuckled, taking the plate Dean offered and settling down at the table. "I just don't understand how you can be friends with someone you've never met."

Dean shrugged. "We just are. I know him better than I know most people. It just works."

**3 weeks later**

**Dude, get a load of this! **

Dean snapped a picture of the car he just finished working on, sending it off to _fallenangel._

Bobby hailed him from across the shop.

"What's up Bobby?" Dean asked, wiping grease off his hands as he walked up to the older man.

"You work too hard," Bobby grumbled good naturedly, "When's the last time you took off?"

Dean grinned. "Probably the same time you did."

Bobby scowled. "You should take a vacation. Take Lisa somewhere nice. That girl deserves it, putting up with your ass all the time. You ask her to marry you yet?"

Dean rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly uncomfortable. "I... er... Think I'd rather keep working, honestly."

Bobby squinted suspiciously. "Something going on with you two?"

Dean sighed sufferingly. "No... I just. I dunno Bobby. Forget it."

**Ding.**

Dean brightened, gripping his phone in his pocket tightly. "I'm just gonna... Get back to work, kay Bobby?"

Bobby watched him walk away, tapping away at his phone, grinning ear to ear. "Idjit."

**1 week later**

**Hey man, how'd it go with that chick? Meg right? -demonhunter**

_Eh, alright I guess. We went out a few times, I thought it was OK. Then she just said she couldn't see me anymore. Said she couldn't be with someone who was clearly in love with someone else. Oh well. -fallenangel_

**That blows. Er... Are you? In love with someone that is? -demonhunter**

_Not that I'm aware of lol ah well, it's no matter. -fallenangel_

**Women, right? Speaking of, Lisa is going out of town for a week, end of this month. Let the bachelor week countdown begin! -demonhunter **

_Wooo! Where's the party? -fallenangel_

**My place, duh. Since **_**you**_ **have to live so far away, I suppose I'll have to settle for my brother. -demonhunter **

_Apologies. -fallenangel_

**You'll just have to make it up to me, somehow. -demonhunter**

_I'll work on that. :-) -fallenangel_

**Two weeks later**

"Dean!" Sam hailed him from across the bar. Dean weaved through the crowd, settling on the vacant stool next to his brother, signaling for a drink.

"Sammy! What's new little brother?"

Sam's mouth twitched, a displeased sigh escaping him. "How many times have I asked you to stop calling me Sammy?"

Dean grinned. "At least once more." He clicked his beer against Sam's before drinking deeply. "Ahh. It's been too long. I know, I know, law school. But jeez, take a break!"

Sam smiled. "From what Bobby said, I'm not the only one working too much. He told me you turned down vacation time."

"Pft. I don't need a stinking vacation. Only vacation I need I'm getting next week! You gonna come live like a bachelor with me? Just like old times!" Dean grinned infectiously.

Sam just shook his head. "I have no idea why you're so eager to have Lisa leave. I'd be a mess if Jess was gone for a week. I think I'd starve."

Dean snorted. "You're hopeless. How is Jess?"

Sam beamed. "She's wonderful. Actually, I wanted to tell you something." He pulled a small black velvet box from his pocket.

Dean stared at it like it would bite. "Is that... c'mon Sammy! Bachelor week!"

Sam grinned. "Sorry Dean. I'm asking this weekend. Got the whole thing planned. She's gonna freak."

Dean sighed. "And another one bites the dust." He smiled at his brother. "In all seriousness, congratulations. Jess is a great girl. She loves you, and I know how crazy you are about her."

Sam squeezed his shoulder. "Thank you Dean. Maybe the four of us can do dinner, once Lisa gets back?"

Dean nodded, absently peeling the label from his beer. Sam frowned, noting the slightest tighten of his brother's eyes, the stiffening of his shoulders.

"Everything okay with you and Lisa?"

"Why does everyone keep asking that?!" Dean snapped, glaring at Sam.

"'Cause you're acting weird, freak. Calm down. You'll tell me when you're ready." Sam smiled reassuringly, turning to the bar to order food.

"There's nothing to tell." Dean muttered, spinning the now empty bottle between his hands. "Nothing."

**One week later**

Dean sprawled on the couch in his ratty jeans, beer in hand, bowl of popcorn on the table in front of him. His laptop was open on the couch next to him, the television showing Dr Sexy reruns.

**Ding! **

Dean jumped a bit in surprise, fighting the urge to change the channel, just in case. Shaking his head at his own worries, he pulled his laptop over.

_How goes bachelor week? -fallenangel_

**Well, Sammy ditched me for his new fiance. Movie night is not the same alone. -demonhunter**

_Ah. ... I could watch with you. Maybe. -fallenangel_

**Um Thanks? But I don't wanna wait 2 days for you to get here. -demonhunter**

_Skype, Dean. It's a relatively new concept, I know. Smh how are you younger than me? -fallenangel_

**Whoa there. Easy with the harsh words! Fine. We'll... Skype... you better have pants on! -demonhunter**

_Jokes bely your true desires Dean. -fallenangel_

**Oh you caught me. Alright, alright! What shall we watch? -demonhunter**

_Do you have the LOTR trilogy? -fallenangel_

**Just who do you think you're talking to? Of course. Extended addition. You up for all that? -demonhunter**

_I don't require sleep. -fallenangel_

**Let's get this party started. -demonhunter**

**Beep. Video chat request from **_**fallenangel**_.

Dean fixed his hair hastily before accepting. The screen filled with Castiel's form, black hair a wild mess above his piercing blue eyes. He quirked his lips in a quick smile.

"Hello Dean."

"Cas." Dean grinned, eyebrows raising at Cas's appearance. "Nice sex hair."

Castiel glared. "You know very well I'm not, as you say, getting any."

Dean smirked. "Very unfortunate."

Cas sighed. "Would you set the movie up, or should I? If you're quite done with my sex life, or lack there of?"

"Ah, chill Cas. Get a beer, or a few. We're gonna be here a while."

Cas settled back against his own couch, halfway across the country. He raised his beer and tipped it toward Dean. Dean raised his own bottle. He took a deep drag, tapping the keyboard to get the movie streaming, sending Cas to the corner of the screen.

Dean swiftly forgot Cas was so far away, the hours flying as they watched, laughing, trading jabs, praising or criticizing by turn. Dean even chucked popcorn at the screen, earning an impressive glare from Castiel. It was more fun than he'd had in ages.

**2 weeks later**

Dean came home to Lisa sitting on the floor, surrounded by bridal magazines. He froze, the door swinging shut behind him with a bang.

"Umm, Lis? What is this?" Dean asked, incredulous.

She smiled up at him. "What does it look like?"

Dean felt himself turn white. Shit. "Er... damn." He squatted down next to her, mind whirling. "Lisa... I... Don't take this wrong, but... you know I'm not ready to get married right? I'm not even sure I want to ever get married. It's not my thing."

Lisa glared at him, expression cold. "These are for Jessica."

Dean let out a shaky laugh, relief flooding him. "Right, of course. Jessica."

"Yes, your brother's _fiance_. Glad to know how you really feel though, Dean." She began gathering up the magazines. "In fact, I think I'll just head over to her place now. Don't expect me home tonight."

"Dammit Lisa... it's not like that!"

Lisa flung her bag over her shoulder, marching to the door, expression positively frosty. "Oh, I think it is. Good night, Dean." She slammed the door behind her.

"Sonuvabitch." Dean swore under his breath, slouching back against the couch.

**1 month later**

_How are things going with Lisa? -fallenangel_

**Ugh. She came back home after a week, but man. I need a sweater against her cold shoulder. -demonhunter**

_Not trying to pry, but... Dean, perhaps the two of you should talk. You appear to want different things. Maybe you should discuss it. If you're not happy... -fallenangel_

**I know... I just... We've been together forever. I can't really picture her gone. And I think she'd leave Cas. -demonhunter**

_Maybe you just need some time away. Give yourself a chance to see what really makes you happy. -fallenangel_

**That doesn't sound awful. When she went away, it was nice to have the space. -demonhunter**

_Well, not to be presumptuous, but I'm going to a convention in a week, with my brother. We have another pass. My brother's ex was going to go with us. It's only a 3 hour drive from you. -fallenangel_

**Wow. Were you gonna tell me you were that close?! -demonhunter**

_I didn't wish to impose. -fallenangel_

**Well, impose away. That sounds awesome. Send me the info, I'll call my boss and get off work. -demonhunter**

**1 week later**

Dean stepped from his Impala, scanning the parking lot for the battered Bug Cas told him to look for. He pulled his phone from his pocket, tapping out a text to Cas.

"Hey! Dean-o!" A short man with ginger hair, golden brown eyes, and a wicked grin on his face was walking towards him. He popped a lollipop in his mouth and waved.

Dean arched an eyebrow. "... Gabriel right?"

Gabriel nodded. "The one and only. You're much taller than I was expecting."

"And I was expecting your brother. Why isn't Cas with you?" Dean asked.

"Cassie got called into work last minute. So, unfortunately your gay love fest is 're stuck with me," Gabriel said, smirking.

Dean flushed, a hard knot of disappointment and embarrassment settling in his stomach. "I'm... We're not gay, dude."

"Uh-huh. Me thinks the lady doth protest too much. Come on Rapunzel, we're missing the party." Gabriel turned, heading toward the convention center.

Dean sighed, reorganizing the weekend ahead of him. No movie marathon with Cas, no popcorn fights, no drinking, and no, though he was loathto admit it to himself, conversations that lasted til dawn. Just three days with Cas's crazy older brother. At least the convention would be fun.

"Rapunzel?!" He shouted after Gabriel. "What the hell?!"

Gabriel just laughed.

**1 week later**

_I'm sorry about last weekend. -fallenangel_

**Shit happens man. Your brother, btw, should be locked up! We almost got arrested! I will never go near a horse again. -demonhunter**

_... He did not mention a horse. -fallenangel_

**Trust me. You don't want to know. Smh -demonhunter**

_Gabriel has a unique sense of humor. I don't know how he's managed to escape incarceration so often. -fallenangel_

**He flirted with the cop. -demonhunter**

_Naturally. He will hit on anyone that stands still. -fallenangel_

**So, When's the next time you'll be my way? -demonhunter**

_I will endeavor to make it soon. -fallenangel_

**Awesome. :-) -demonhunter**

**2 weeks later**

"You okay Dean?" Sammy gave him his patented concerned brother face, too much eye contact over the small diner booth.

Dean snorted. "Yeah, everything's great actually."

"Really?" Sam questioned, frowning.

"Totally. In fact I finally took some time off, few weeks back. Went to a convention. Cas was supposed to be there, but you know. His brother was cool though. Crazy, but cool." Dean replied, smiling easily.

"Cas?" Sam pounced on that, squinting suspiciously. "That's the Internet guy?"

Dean nodded. "He's my friend. He's awesome, you'd like him."

"Lisa mentioned him. She's worried about you."

Dean laughed, shaking his head. "I don't know why. Cas never bothered her before."

Sam looked uncomfortable. "Well you weren't running off to spend weekends with the guy before."

"Oh my god, it was a convention! Nerdfest, not a romantic getaway. What the hell Sammy?"

"No one said anything about romance, Dean. Should we be?"

Dean flushed. "No Dammit. I'm with Lisa, clearly."

Sam watched him sympathetically. "And if you weren't?"

Dean stiffened. "Drop it Sam.

Sam raised his hands, placating Dean. A frown still tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Anything you say, Dean."

**2 weeks later**

Dean sat at his desk, trolling around on Tumblr. Lisa was back on night shifts, so he had the house to himself. He sighed, clicking aimlessly.

**Ding!**

_Dean! I'm stuck on this scene for my latest fic! Think you could read it over, tell me if I should scrap it, or keep going? It's... um kinda NSFW though. -fallenangel_

**Dude, you wanna send me porn now? JK, I'll read it. Your stuff is always worth reading. -demonhunter**

**Ding! New email from **_**fallenangel. **_

Dean opened the link, reading with interest. Deanna Wesson was arguing with her angel, Anael. The fight led to angry kissing, rough touches. The scene cut off as Deanna tossed the angel to the bed.

**What gives man? It's just getting good! -demonhunter**

_You like it? Hmmm... hold on. -fallenangel_

Dean watched as words started flying across the screen, the scene unfolding before his eyes. Dean felt his pants tighten, his erection straining against the zipper. He didn't think, unsnapping the buttons and taking himself in hand. He stroked, breath coming fast. The scene was hot, but it wasn't what he was thinking of. He pictured slim fingers flying across the keyboard, dark hair swept back from gleaming blue eyes.

"Cas..." he groaned, spilling into his hand. He froze. He stared at the screen, the cursor blinking where Cas had wrapped up the scene. "Shit," He muttered, cleaning himself off swiftly.

_Yeah. I think that'll work. Guess I'll keep it. -fallenangel_

**Yeah. It's good. Um, I gtg. Lisa's home. -demonhunter**

_Ok. Good bye Dean. -fallenangel_

Dean logged off, sitting in the silence of the dark apartment. "Fuck."

**1 week later**

_You have to post it. -fallenangel_

**Nah, I can't man. -demonhunter**

_It's good. I didn't know you could sing. -fallenangel_

**Most people don't. -demonhunter**

_Upload it! -fallenangel_

**Nope. Glad you liked it though. -demonhunter**

_If you don't, I will. -fallenangel_

**You wouldn't. -demonhunter**

_I would. -fallenangel_

**Dammit Cas! Fine. Ugh I hate you. See if I share with you again. -demonhunter**

_You don't hate me. It'll be fine Dean. -fallenangel_

Dean sighed, uploading the video. Stupid Cas.

**2 weeks later**

Dean browsed through Cas's profile pictures, searching for one that would work for what he had in mind. He stopped, finding the perfect one. Cas was leaning on a railing, a massive river flowing before him, his trench coat flung back with the wind. He was glancing over his shoulder, blue eyes intense as he stared at the camera.

Dean saved the picture, opening it up in photoshop. He worked for hours, blending each layer seamlessly. He wanted this to look real, perfect. It was after midnight when he finished. He grinned, pleased with the result.

He shot off an email to Cas, sending him the picture.

**I thought you might want your wings back. -demonhunter**

He pretended he didn't know it was Valentines Day.

**Later that day**

_Dean. This is amazing. How...? -fallenangel_

**It's no big deal. Had some time yesterday, thought you might get a kick out of it. -demonhunter**

_Wow. Yeah, I love it. Now I feel bad, I didn't do anything for you. -fallenangel_

**That's not how it works. I wanted to do something for you, so I did. No big deal. -demonhunter**

_Well, thank you Dean. -fallenangel_

Dean smiled, pushing away from the computer. He turned to find Lisa glaring at him.

"We need to talk Dean."

"What? I know it's Valentines Day. I'm taking you out for dinner!" Dean flinched away from her icy stare.

"Dean. We have more problems than your lackluster approach to the holiday."

"Dammit Lis, do we have to do this now? Please, let's just go to dinner," Dean pleaded reaching for her arm.

Lisa pulled away. "I can't do this anymore."

Dean froze. "What are you saying?"

Her eyes filled with tears. "Dean... I love you. But... I want to be married Dean. And that's never gonna happen for us. You know we've grown apart."

"Lisa..."

"Please Dean. Just... don't. We both knew this was coming. You've been pulling away for months."

"But... I love you." His voice was ragged, words choked out.

"Not enough, Dean. I won't play second fiddle. I won't watch the man I love, love someone else."

"What are you talking about?" He cried, reaching for her again.

Lisa stepped back, picking up the bag Dean hadn't noticed at her feet. "You know Dean. Everyone knows."

Dean watched her walk to the door, heart pounding. "I don't Lis. I don't!"

She looked at him sadly, outlined in the doorway. "Cas." She whispered, walking out the door, and out of his life.

**2 months later**

Dean walked around the empty apartment, one last walk through before he left this place forever. Memories assaulted him everywhere he went. He couldn't stay here. A duffle bag and his guitar case sat, waiting by the door. The rest of his possessions were in Sam's basement, packed tightly in boxes.

He glanced at his watch. He had to be at the airport in two hours. Sam was waiting out in the car. He sighed, picking up the bags and locking the door behind him.

Sam drove him to the airport in silence. They stopped at the drop off zone, sitting awkwardly.

"Are you sure about this Dean?" Sam finally asked.

"No Sammy. But I'm doing it anyway. I can't stay here any longer... And well, if Cas won't let me stay there... I'll figure something out."

Sam gave him a bitch face. "You didn't ask him?"

Dean laughed. "Couldn't. Guess I was afraid he'd say no. I'll be fine."

Sam shook his head. "You're an idiot."

"You got the smarts, I got the good looks."

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

They hugged, a hard clasp filled with all the things they wouldn't say. Dean broke away, pulling his bags over the seat and exiting the car.

"You take care of my Baby. I'll be back for her soon."

Sam grinned and waved him off. Dean didn't see him plug in his ipod jack before driving away.

Dean made it to his gate, flustered from the rigorous security checks. His shoe still wasn't back in place properly. He chose a chair and settled in. Dread filled him. Why did he think flying was a good idea.

Humming Metallica, he updated his status: **Flying is unnatural. Why am I doing this? Help.**

The flight passed in a blur, the alcohol provided by the stewardess helping to drown his fears. Landing in Philadelphia was a welcome relief.

He grabbed his bags and ran from the plane as swiftly as possible. As he navigated the maze that this city called a terminal he hopped back online, tapping out a new status: **Just landing in Philly. Anyone want to pick me up. **

**Ding! **

He frowned. There was a picture of him, duffle over his shoulder, guitar at hand.

_Already here. _

Dean looked around, grinning. The crowd parted, and there was Cas. He smiled at Dean, looking sloppy yet adorable in his lopsided trench coat, backward tie, ill fitting suit, hair wild and unmanaged. Dean jogged over to him, seizing the smaller man in a tight hug. Cas stiffened, then relaxed into Dean's hold, bringing his arms up around Dean's back. They stood like that, just holding each other, a perfect frozen moment.

**Ding! **

**Beep!**

Dean frowned, muttering an apology as he pulled out his phone. Cas checked his own phone, the slightest frown on his face.

_Oh just kiss already fallenangel demonhunter_ -_trickster_

"Gabriel," Cas grumbled. "Apologies, Dean."

Dean chuckled, face red. "Well... er, we wouldn't want to let down a fellow shipper, would we?"

Cas tilted his head at Dean, confusion making him irresistible. Dean took Cas's face gently between his hands kissing him softly. Cas made an inarticulate noise and threw his arms around Dean's neck, deepening the kiss. They lost themselves in the moment, wrapped up in a world that contained only them.

The sound of a shutter snapping brought them back to earth. They broke apart, arms still tangled together, turning in unison.

Gabriel grinned at them, holding his phone up. "Got it. Anddd uploaded."

Dean sighed sufferingly and rested his forehead against Cas's. "Please tell me he doesn't live with you."

Cas smiled. "No, Dean. We have the place to ourselves."

Dean grinned. "Awesome."

**One year later**

Dean walked up to the counter of the store, meeting the clerk's bright smile with one of his own.

"How may I help you today?" The young woman oozed sincerity.

Dean beamed. "I need a ring."

* * *

**Please be a doll and leave my boo some feedback! **


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